Monday, March 12, 2012

Sensational Writing!

I just saw a sidebar ad for an article entitled, "The Secret World of Nail Color."

Now I don't know why that struck me as funny, but it did. I mean, is there really something subversive in the world of Sally Hansen and OPI? As an attention-grabber, I suppose it works, because I'm writing about it.  But it got me to thinking about all the sidebar ads for "related articles" and "people who bought this also bought..." and similar come-ons. I rarely click on those ads or articles, since I know they are just designed to capitalize on the fact that I've just revealed an interest that may lead to spending money, and the Interweb wants my money.

But I started to think...someone has to write those articles.  Someone has to find 300-500 words to describe the big secret about nail polish - why not me? I've been accused of being overly, redundantly wordy and verbose in a garrulous, bombastic way. I could probably write a massive treatise on the secret world of any inanimate object, if I was getting paid. 

So here are some articles I'd like to write, if someone would pay me:

How to Lose 10 lbs. per week eating only Blizzards and Thin Mints!

What your dog is thinking - RIGHT NOW

Hairstyle secrets of SAHMs

How You Can Make 10 Christmas Gifts from old VHS Tapes! 

Why are there moths in your pantry?

How to tell if YOU need mantyhose

How to Write a FanGirl Letter that will get you Noticed!

Go to College or start an Etsy business? 5 Points to help you decide.

     or                 ?

Yeah, I know...I'll stick with blogging for now.

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